aka
(Loafer of the World)
will review some camera prints from his ratty charpoy

Camera Print : some desperado with no other source of income goes into a movie hall, camcorder in hand (or on lap who knows) and proceeds to film the latest trash. Usually flimsy, B grade prints with various obscene noises and gestures coming from the crowd, ie: belches, farts,bobbing heads, hand jerks etc.
Glossary : Lafanga's translations of common phonetic Hindi words used on this page. Brush up on the second most spoken language in the world, or is it the second most populated country?


Wag The Dog

( Seen on Friday the 13th, Feb.'98 in India, Video CD print, progress, progress! )

Dustin Hoffman ( nominated for best actor OSCAR, why? )
Robert De Niro
Anne Heche
Denis Leary
Woody Harrelson as the circumspect american Rapist (gets better all the time)

How was this done so quick, and why a Firefly girl, is Monica Lewinksky one, how did they know, who is talking or does someone plan this, like in the movie, and is he dead too?

The movie is crap, methinks good ole' Barry has finally lost his marbles or is it De Niro, all references to the producer seem to indicate him as he produced it,
( off the "
Godfathers" money, Dustin wants to be De Niro, and now uses him for an Oscar nomination, kinda cool though ) while appearing in a French Court for Prostitution charges, is there really such a thing in France, prostitution, paree here I come....in my pajama's.

This movie has a great premise, and for christs sake it is happening as i write this,
how, how,
does Clinton like the movies but I hear that the blowjobs started in '95, so did Monica tell her story, Lafanga thinks there is a swiss account somewhere in her name. Levinson can afford it, did he coordinate it?
How, how,
the movie tells you, is there a difference between the producer and the director, when the producer is an actor ( in the lead role ) and the director is a producer.

To review this is benign, read your daily newspaper, Clinton attacks Iraq, Monica is forgotten, Starr is attacked, kill the stars, put a lesbian in, create sympathy, after De Niro and Hoffman, get the underdog, then add Denis Leary for comic relief, as usual as the politics, or as it is now, SEX is WAR.

The outstanding attempt given to Woody, who lives up to his name, goes after arse and then gets shot in it, cool woody, Lafanga associates!


As Good as it Get

Jack Nicholson
Helen Hunt
Greg Kinnear
Cuba Gooding Jr.

I know, BAHUT DER HUI ! Blame it on the supari! Blame it on the Thara! But I am here, I have risen from the charpoy and now, I will review the latest films which you will watch in your sparkly, paan-stain free, cozy theaters, loose women on your arms and sacks of ghee-laden popcorn on your lap!

Melvin is an obsessive-compulsive, (another one of those Western diseases, you people seem to push out) romance writer living in New York. He frequents a restaurant (plastic utensils in hand) where Carol (Helen Hunt) works as a waitress-his favorite. Melvin's gay neighbour, an artist,(Greg Kinnear) gets beaten up and lands in the hospital leaving Melvin to care for his dog&endash;urdell,purdell -not sure of the name-(why can't you Americans keep it simple-like fluffy or snowy) which apparently pees at random throughout the halls. As Melvin's droll life goes by, soliloquizing his computer at night, wagging his impoliticaly correct tongue and insulting the patrons of his favorite haunt-the little fingers of love slowly creep down his back. The dog wears him down, even the gay neighbour and eventually even Carol learns to love he old bastard.

Finally a good screenplay,(I was getting a little worried&endash;thought Hollywood might be soliciting head injury patients for screenplays) it's up for an oscar this year along with 'Good Will Hunting' only soon to be engulfed by the waves of bad dialouge in Titanic ("Jack, you're so lucky, if only I could be as free as you...to go anywhere, etc...") Jack Nicholson is of course Jack Nicholson and with mere eye gestures (and of course the brow) acts the pants off everyone else in hollywood. Helen Hunt will win the Oscar no doubt and finally she will be able to stay clear of tornados.


Earlier reviews

Alien-Ressurrection; Children of the Revolution; Picture Perfect; The Devils Advocate.

Want to contribute some reviews? eMail us at : [email protected]


Awara Ankh

Ajib Almirah

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